I took exactly three pictures today, which as anyone who is Facebook friends with me knows is the same amount I usually take in one hour. This is one of them. My kids happily playing at a new-to-us park on a glorious summer day. Not pictured is the fact that it was exactly a bajillion degrees with a heat index of “really effing hot” that made it feel like a bajillion and ten degrees.
Also not pictured is the fact that I forgot the sunscreen, the fact that my daughter wasn’t feeling great, the fact that I was in a really horrible mood, and the fact that my five year old has been talking back to his parents like he gets a free Lego set every time he does it.
Today was one of those days when I spent too much time and energy being frustrated. That was kind of the story of my whole week. My son’s new found attitude (which I’m praying is some brought on by some combination of growth spurt, lack of sleep, or maybe a minor cold and not here for the long haul) has worn. me. down. this week.
I was angry at that behavior. Then I was angry at how I reacted to that behavior. And then I was angry that when I told myself I would be more patient the next time, I still responded like the angry lava woman from Moana.
I’ve been so frustrated that I’ve looked up parenting mantras, calming children’s prayers, and devotionals for mothers this week. And y’all. I’m not even really religious.
It probably doesn’t help that that my normal coping mechanism (sweet heavenly chocolate) is on my don’t-eat-that-so-you-dont-explode-the-seams-of-your-swimsuit list.
I need some good vibes sent my way for patience, and I don’t think I’m alone in this. Can all the moms and people who love moms out there and up big prayers, thoughts, whatevers for divine intervention. May our jaws unclench, may our shoulders relax, may we not lose our sh*t when we are sass talked by the tiny humans we created.
And just for good measure, may we also eat a little chocolate without any guilt after a rough day.